The Dumb Robber

Once, in a small Russian village, there lived a poor melamed (teacher). The parents of the children were as poor as he, and so, more often than not he wasn't paid the small salary due at the end of the week. The melamed and his family just managed to keep bread on the table, and so, it wasn't surprising that when it came time to marry off the eldest daughter, there was no money for a dowry or the many expenses needed to make a wedding.

The melamed had no choice but to take to the road and go from village to village collecting charity. The mitzva of "dowering the bride" has always been popular amongst Jews, and he found the townspeople very willing to help. After several weeks the melamed felt that he had collected a sufficient amount of money, and he decided to return home with his heavy, little pouch of money.

One day, as the melamed made his way down the dusty road, a highwayman suddenly jumped out at him. Brandishing a pistol, the man snarled, "Give me all your money, or I'll shoot!"

The terrified melamed was rooted to the spot in shock. "Sir, take pity on me! I have only a little money that I have collected in order to marry off my daughter. Without this money, my poor child will never be able to make a match! Please, sir, leave me in peace!"

"Be quiet, Jew! I'm not interested in your pathetic stories. Just give over your money, and be quick about it!"

The melamed took out his purse and handed it over. But then, the robber raised his gun again, and took aim, pointing it straight at the melamed's heart. "Now, I'm going to kill you," he said, grimly.

"But, why? I gave you all my money. Now, let me go to my family. Please, I am the father of a large family, and my small children will be left orphans - paupers, without me!"

But the robber was relentless. "No, if I let you go, you will just run to the police and then they will capture me. You will testify against me, and I will be hanged! No, I cannot allow you to go, or I will be the one killed!"

The melamed begged and pleaded for his freedom, swearing that he would never breath a word of the robbery to any soul in the whole world. But, all his pitiful words fell on deaf ears. The robber just became more hardened in his resolve. The melamed saw no hope, and he asked the robber for a few moments to prepare himself to face his Maker. To this request, the robber acquiesced, and the melamed said his last prayers.

When he had finished, the melamed had a new look in his eyes. Our tradition teaches us never to despair, for even when the sword rests upon one's neck, G-d can still bring about salvation. During his moment of prayer, the melamed was given the glimmer of an idea.

"Sir," the melamed began, "I can tell that you are not an ordinary, wicked man, for if so, you would never have allowed me to pray. I see than you have more than a spark of goodness in you, and you are not the type who would want to murder an innocent man in cold blood. I want to do you a favor and I thought of a plan by which you could kill me in self-defense. I will pretend to attack you and then you will have a good reason to shoot. You will be able to honestly say it was self-defense."

The robber looked at him as if he couldn't believe his ears. "What crazy things are you saying? You're going to do me a favor? That's a good one! If you imagine that I'll give up my gun, you really are nuts!"

"Of course, I would never imagine such a thing," the melamed countered. Nothing like that. Why, you just sit on this tree stump and hold your gun. I will take my walking stick and wave it in the air like this. Then I will run towards you and gently tap you on the head. But, you will pretend to believe that I'm attacking you, and you shoot me. Isn't that simple?"

The robber thought about it for a minute or two as the melamed prayed from the depths of his heart for salvation. "Well, I guess it'll be all right," he replied. "Just be sure that your tap is real gentle," he chuckled.

"Don't give it a thought," the melamed assured him. Then, backing up a few paces, the melamed grabbed his stick firmly in his right hand, and praying fervently, he sprinted toward the robber who was sitting calmly with a smirk on his face. It was over in a flash. The melamed brought his heavy walking stick down on the robber's head with all his strength (plus the extra strength he gathered by way of his prayers). The man toppled over, his glassy eyes registering the shock of this unexpected turn of events.

When the melamed realized that he had succeeded in saving his life, he grabbed his money purse and ran down the road, as fast as his feet could carry him, never even glancing back at the felled murderer.

Soon the family celebrated the joyous wedding of their daughter, but the melamed never forgot how he managed to save the dowry and his life at the same time.